The Remix Project x The need for family

So, a friend guided me to the remix project and told me it was something I should look into...when I did I saw the most interesting and accomplished youth and I wanted to be a part of that...but what I thought was that everyone there had a deep story to their lives that made them stand out above the rest...whether it be the hardship of where they grew up or battles that they overcame in their lives.

And I thought to myself, that can't be me.

I mean I have never had to fear going outside my house with the chance of being shot or overcame real battles in my life.I have never been a troubled youth and be at risk with gangs... I'm poor, it's just me and my mother and that's the way it's always been. There were better times that I vaguely remember, where I used to feel the love of family. But that's something in the distant past that will NEVER return, that ended in heart break and sorrow...My mother always tried to provide me with everything and I will always love and thank her for that. But apart of me always wanted to have family somewhere. So as I looked into remix I found more and more people calling them family and I wanted to see if it was true, could I find a family in this organization...can I be something more than I am.

It hurt's a lot to see the people you look up to the most let you down into a bed of nails...


My own brother(biological). I was so proud of him, he was everything in my eyes. The coolest person I had ever known and I was so proud to be related to him. I wanted to walk, dress and talk like him and be a business man like he was. He always took me to the movies and let me stay over at his place. But as I got older I realized that's all he did. He never taught me anything of real value...one day I was in his car driving home and I asked him "Chris, why have you never taught me to play basketball and stuff like that, or taught me how to cut hair like you do..." he stared at me for a second and said" Listen, I am not your father, you are not my responsibility..." those words are scared in my mind forever, every time I see him I hear it in my head and as time went out he became colder and colder to me and my mother until he complete cut us off...I always wondered why he did it. Back when we used to live better he always brought his friends around to hang out and since we started to live where we are now he just cut us off. He was embarrassed of us embarrassed by how we are living and it hurt. That was the beginning when I started losing people to look up too. There are many more I put my admiration in that let me down...because of drug abuse, being in jail etc etc...



but I am starting to go off topic and being long winded and I ask you forgiveness. I just felt I had to get that off my mind...I really do hope remix contacts me back...I hope...